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A man recently accused me of "othering" misogynists.
- 19 July, 2025
- Emily Kimelman
He misunderstood that I was critiquing their viewpoint, not considering them animals, or aliens, for their nationality, race, gender, or any other identifier not related to their own ignorant opinions and beliefs.
I eviscerated him. It was in person. And it made people uncomfortable.
Do you know how many f***s I give? None.
We should be uncomfortable when misogynists open their mouths and spread their dangerous ideologies.
He apologized later to my husband. Then to me—but not for being a misogynist. For coming off as one.
And I want to tell you something: if you come off as a misogynist, you are one.
Also, all of us are misogynists. We can't help the culture we grew up in that over and over again tries to convince us that at the end of the day equality isn't possible because women can't, you know, kill bears with their bare hands. They have to, like, use whistles to scare them away.
You may ask yourself what about all the poor boss bitches out there who have been convinced they should grab power, harness it, burn themselves at the stake for it? Didn't feminism do them wrong? Or was that capitalism?
Don't men do the same thing? Pursue power, money, and capitalistic success over everything else? Didn't they draw up the rules to this game? Doesn't it suck for everyone playing it? We call it the rat race...right? Who cares the gender of the rat, sucks to be one.
But there are people out there with these poorly reasoned, destructive beliefs. Instead of listening to a woman who knows what the f*** she's talking about when it comes to the dangers of misogyny, they wonder OUT LOUD if there’s a dark side to this whole equal rights thing. To aforementioned woman.
That doesn't just come off as misogynist, it is misogynist.
Don't get it twisted. You can wonder all you want—then go listen to a woman who knows what she's talking about instead of a man. Same with if you’re wondering about how bad racism is—don't ask your white friend to clue you in on how it's going. Just listen to people of color. And believe them.
We can battle these toxic beliefs woven into the fabric of our subconscious by our culture. But it's not comfortable.
If you're sitting there thinking, no, not me. I'm not a racist. I'm not a misogynist. I don't have any phobias about the LGBTQ+ community, then you are lying to yourself.
We’re all products of a society steeped in racism, transphobia, ableism, and more. These biases aren’t personal failings—they’re cultural programming. But pretending they don’t live inside us? That’s dangerous.
Unearthing our bias is vital work we must do to make the world more equitable. You don't have to get it perfect, but you can't interrupt me at a dinner party to question if feminism has gone too far and expect anything good to come out of it for you. Personally, I got email content out of it. 😉
If you want to see a woman not just verbally, but also physically, eviscerate misogynists, check out my Sydney Rye Mysteries.
Sydney Rye and her dog, Blue, exact justice with a vengeance. The dog doesn't die, but the bad guys do. And it's cathartic AF.
📚 Pay what you want for the first 8 Sydney Rye Mysteries in ebook or digital audiobook. Save 40% on paperbacks:
emilykimelman.com/SR18
📚 Continue the adventure with books 9-12:
emilykimelman.com/SR912
📚 Catch up with books 13-15:
emilykimelman.com/SR1315
📚 Catch up with books 16-18:
emilykimelman.com/SR1618
📖 Preorder Feral Vengeance, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 19:
emilykimelman.com/FV
**This preorder is for 2026, so please be aware it won’t arrive until then.**
📙 If you’re all caught up with Sydney Rye, read A Spy is Born, Starstruck Thrillers Book 1:
emilykimelman.com/SB
📖 If you read book 1, Lone Spy, Starstruck Thrillers Book 2 is now available:
emilykimelman.com/LoS
☕️ If you’ve read all the Sydney Rye Mysteries and Starstruck Thrillers THANK YOU.
The best way to reward yourself for all of that reading is with your very own mug, tote, or wine tumbler with quotes from the books, check out my exclusive merchandise:
emilykimelman.com/Merch
Until next week, happy reading...
Emily
P.S. I promise the dog doesn’t die…but I make no assurances about anyone else. 😈
P.P.S. You should unfollow me now if you have issues with "strong" language, sex out of wedlock, or LGBTQ+ characters. 👈 Top 3 things my one-star reviews complain about.
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