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And a person on a bike came around the corner. They had long blonde hair flowing in the wind and broad shoulders.
My brain immediately thought: woman, no man, oh wait, it’s the non binary person I met awhile ago. They’d actually stopped by my cottage because they used to live there. And when they first showed up I just saw their face which my brain saw as masculine and I looked at them like “wtf are you doing on my lawn?”. But then I noticed they were wearing a skirt and relaxed. We had a nice conversation.
As they rode by I wondered “why did I need to pinpoint their gender?” And then I remember it’s because men are dangerous and everyone else is safe according to the most basic levels of my thinking.
And that’s because I’ve never been physically afraid of any gender but male.
If you’ve spent a lifetime being harassed and occasionally assaulted—ass grabbed, boob groped, etc—by men you learn quickly to be on guard for their presence. We raise our daughters to be weary, to clutch keys between fingers when walking alone, to go in groups to the bathroom, to cover drinks, and watch others' backs.
When people say "not all men", it’s as if they are telling on themselves. They don’t have empathy or understanding. The vast majority of women have had their body touched without permission in a sexual way by a man. And often it happens before puberty.
Not all men. But ALL women.
So we are right to be cautious of men. It would be foolish not to be.
Next time you feel the need to say “not all men” just fucking don’t. It makes you look like an asshole without empathy or understanding.
Emily
📚 Pay what you want for the first 8 Sydney Rye Mysteries in ebook or digital audiobook. Save 40% on paperbacks:
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📚 Continue the adventure with books 9-12:
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📚 Catch up with books 13-15:
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📚 Catch up with books 16-18:
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📖 Order the newest book, Feral Vengeance, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 19:
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⛈️ Preorder Tempest Rising, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 20:
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**The release date is currently set for January 2027, but we hope to move it up and will share more via the newsletter.*
📙 If you’re all caught up with Sydney Rye, read A Spy is Born, Starstruck Thrillers Book 1:
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📖 If you read book 1, Lone Spy, Starstruck Thrillers Book 2 is now available:
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☕️ If you’ve read all the Sydney Rye Mysteries and Starstruck Thrillers THANK YOU.
The best way to reward yourself for all of that reading is with your very own mug, tote, or wine tumbler with quotes from the books, check out my exclusive merchandise:
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💝 Want to share your love for Sydney and Blue? I have gift cards 😉:
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