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I swear to Dog...
- 15 November, 2025
- Emily Kimelman
That these fascist f***s read Animal Farm, 1984, and Fahrenheit 451 and thought they were instruction manuals instead of the OBVIOUS warnings they so clearly are. I mean, department of war—could you be more on the nose dystopian.
My books are not manuals either. You should not…
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Assassinate corrupt politicians. (Unleashed)
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Decapitate human traffickers. (Death in the Dark)
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Let your giant ass mutt—part wolf, part Collie, part Husky, all hellhound—maul people…even if they richly deserve it. ( Insatiable)
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You shouldn’t push pedophiles off roofs. (Strings of Glass)
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Dose anyone with datura. (Devil’s Breath)
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Meet up with your arch nemesis in the jungle no matter what he promises you. (Inviting Fire)
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Murder organ harvesters. (Shadow Harvest)
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Kidnap and torture leaders of religious cults who are enslaving women and girls. (Girl with the Gun)
You should not do any of these things. Because they are illegal. And possibly immoral..depending on your perspective.
The point is, my books are not instructions on how to build a society. They are cathartic vigilante adventures where Sydney Rye and her dog, Blue, exact justice with a vengeance. The dog doesn’t die, but the bad guys do. And they are the break you need from this Orwellian reality we’re being forced into by incompetent fascists with no imagination but all the f***ing audacity.
📚 Pay what you want for the first 8 Sydney Rye Mysteries in ebook or digital audiobook. Save 40% on paperbacks:
emilykimelman.com/SR18
📚 Continue the adventure with books 9-12:
emilykimelman.com/SR912
📚 Catch up with books 13-15:
emilykimelman.com/SR1315
📚 Catch up with books 16-18:
emilykimelman.com/SR1618
📖 Preorder Feral Vengeance, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 19:
emilykimelman.com/FV
**This preorder is for early 2026, so please be aware it won’t arrive until then.**
📙 If you’re all caught up with Sydney Rye, read A Spy is Born, Starstruck Thrillers Book 1:
emilykimelman.com/SB
📖 If you read book 1, Lone Spy, Starstruck Thrillers Book 2 is now available:
emilykimelman.com/LoS
☕️ If you’ve read all the Sydney Rye Mysteries and Starstruck Thrillers THANK YOU.
The best way to reward yourself for all of that reading is with your very own mug, tote, or wine tumbler with quotes from the books, check out my exclusive merchandise:
emilykimelman.com/Merch
Until next week...
Emily
P.S. Everyone needs another coffee mug.
Find these and more in my bookstore: emilykimelman.com/Merch
P.P.S. I promise the dog doesn’t die…but I make no assurances about anyone else. 😈
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