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I'm often accused...
- 26 October, 2024
- Emily Kimelman
Of “playing the victim” and recently of being a “martyr”. 👈 That one cracked me up because I tell people to go f*** themselves at least once a day, and that’s definitely not what martyrs do. They pretend everything is fine when it’s not. They take responsibility for things they are not responsible for…which some people consider admirable.
Personally, I think boundaries are admirable, and I strive to set and hold my own. I also think acknowledging reality is vital if we want things to change.
Sexism, racism, ableism, etc. are real. And a problem.
Acknowledging that I’m a victim of sexism is the same as acknowledging that I’m the victim of a hit and run or anything else outside my control. It’s not playing the victim card, it’s calling out toxic social norms in a bid to change them.
We look down on victims in this society, and that is b***s***. We expect people to be martyrs—especially women. But the fact is, helping others is not actually as hard as accepting support.
Why do you think so many of us refuse help when we need it? It feels crappy to get help and awesome to give it. Part of that is societal norms, and part of it is needing help just sucks.
If you see a car crash and stop to help the victims, you feel good about yourself. The person who just got crushed by a semi, on the other hand, feels like shit.
The same is true for the man standing up for women’s rights vs the women being refused life saving healthcare. Which would you rather be in that scenario?
So, the next time you call out the toxic nature of our society and someone accuses you of playing the victim tell them to take their b***s*** and shove it right up their a**. Admitting you’re a victim, and that you need help, is hard AF, and you should be proud of yourself for facing reality instead of pretending everything is fine.
Bonus, telling someone to shove it up their a** will probably surprise them because they think victims are whiny losers when really they are survivors.
Admitting there is a problem is the first step to changing it. You can be a victim and a bad a**.
Need some inspiration on that front? Check out my Sydney Rye Mysteries.
Sydney Rye and her dog, Blue, exact justice with a vengeance. The dog doesn’t die but the bad guys do. Victims become victors, and it feels really f*****g good.
📚 Pay what you want for the first 8 Sydney Rye Mysteries in ebook or digital audiobook. Save 40% on paperbacks:
emilykimelman.com/SR18
📚 Continue the adventure with books 9-12:
emilykimelman.com/SR912
📚 Catch up with books 13-15:
emilykimelman.com/SR1315
📘 Read Relentless, Sydney Mysteries Book 16:
emilykimelman.com/RL
📗 Read Jagged Truth, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 17:
emilykimelman.com/JT
📗 Download the newest release, Brutal Mercy, Sydney Rye Mysteries Book 18:
emilykimelman.com/BM
📗 If you’re all caught up with Sydney Rye, start A Spy is Born, Starstruck Thrillers Book 1:
emilykimelman.com/SB
☕️ If you’ve read all the Sydney Rye Mysteries and Starstruck Thrillers THANK YOU.
The best way to reward yourself for all of that reading is with your very own mug, tote, or wine tumbler with quotes from the books, check out my exclusive merchandise:
emilykimelman.com/Merch
Practice setting boundaries—it feels really good.
Until next time,
Emily
P.S. I promise the dog doesn’t die…but I make no assurances about anyone else. 😈
P.P.S. You should unfollow me now if you have issues with "strong" language, sex out of wedlock, or LGBTQ+ characters. 👈 Top 3 things my one-star reviews complain about.
P.P.P.S If this email was forwarded to you by a friend, you can sign up to the newsletter list and receive one each week.
https://emilykimelman.com/News
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